Photo: Alfonso
I was lucky enough to travel overseas recently, one of my favorite things to do in life. My wife and I were having a drink at our swim-up pool bar (also one of my favorite things to do in life), and ended up meeting another couple from Germany. Confusingly enough, he, Pepe, was from Italy but lived in Germany. She, Julia, was from Sweden but lived in Germany with Pepe. They were a delight, and the four of us (joined by an equally delightful Irish couple) all had dinner and drinks that night.
Over drinks after dinner, Julia shared a fascinating detail about their relationship. They both speak perfect English, and both speak fluent German as well. When they first met each other, they spoke English so that’s the language they used as the relationship continued. Early on though, it seemed they were fighting a lot, often for no real reason. Just a lot of bickering and arguments that seemed to come from nowhere.
One day, they decided to switch to German in their everyday conversations and things got a lot better. They were able to avoid all those fights that were arising from nowhere. The funny thing is, it’s not like one of them was more proficient in English. They both spoke slightly accented but otherwise perfect idiomatic English. And neither is a native German speaker (though Pepe moved there early). It’s just that German is structured in a way that’s more amenable to both of their sensibilities, and therefore was a better medium to communicate.
This is a good reminder that what you say matters. Might sound obvious, but a lot of people – too many people, smart people – speak carelessly or emptily. They say things they don’t mean or that they know to be untrue. They make false promises or issue bullshit statements. Chose your words carefully and you’ll have a lot less to explain later.
Julia and Pepe are also a good reminder that speaking the same language isn’t necessarily enough – you need to speak the right language. If you go into an interview and can’t relate to the interviewer, you’ve got a problem. If your resume floats a bunch of empty accolades like “accomplished marketer” or “web ninja” – you’re probably going nowhere.
But, if you use the same words to describe yourself as they use to describe their corporate culture, now you’ve got something. If you can banter with your interviewer while easily using appropriate jargon, you’ll earn a lot more credibility that someone who speaks vaguely. Speaking the right language means everything.
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